Part 2: Negative Friendships

Who do you spend most of your time with? Are your closest friendships drawing you closer to Jesus? I ask this as friendships have the power to have a negative or positive impact on us. This is why the Bible tells us to choose our friends carefully.

“The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray.”

~ Proverbs 12:26 ~

Prior to and in the beginning stages of my salvation I didn’t intentionally try to seek good friendships with people. Rather I gravitated towards people who were more like me as well as those that I shared a common interest with. Good morals wasn’t a priority as long as we got along and had “fun”.

I remember my first real experience of Church becoming friends with one particular girl. There were a lot of characteristics that I found in this girl that I overlooked including anger, bitterness and gossip. As we became closer I became more distant from my other friends, and eventually we ended up leaving the church together before going our separate ways.

The Bible is clear about friendships that we should not have.

“Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go, Lest you learn his ways And set a snare for your soul.”

~ Proverbs 22:24-25 ~

Being friends with an angry person may start to bring out the worst in you and even be a hindrance to your own salvation. This kind of friendship is likely to be fuelled with drama which you don’t have time for. Not only that but people may also associate you with being angry as this kind of behaviour often can draw other people in.

“A perverse man sows strife, And a whisperer separates the best of friends.”

~ Proverbs 16:28 ~

In my experience I have found that the more I was around people who spoke negatively about others, the more this changed my view of the people they would speak about. We really need to learn to guard our hearts and make wise choices regarding our friendships.

Sometimes it may get to a point where you no longer leave your friendship groups feeling encouraged or inspired. This is where you would need to evaluate the kind of impact your friends are having on you.

To summarise God wants to give you friendships that honour him and that bring him glory. This is impossible if your friendships are influencing you to participate in sin or to compromise your moral standards.

Tips:

1. Your Choice of Friendships are Your Responsibility

“He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.”

~ Proverbs 13:20 ~

As Christians it is our responsibility to recognise the relationships that God wants us to have and the ones he does not want us to have. The Bible says that we will know people by their fruits.

“You will know them by their fruits…”

~ Matthew 7:16 ~

We can start by making the choice to surround ourselves with people who are strongly rooted in Christ.

2. Set Boundaries

It is okay to distance yourself from those that are impacting on you negatively. You have to set clear boundaries within your friendships. One example could be how much time you spend around them, the places you go and the kind of conversations that you engage with. If they are real friends then they would respect those boundaries.

“Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;”

~ Psalm 1:1 ~

3. Be Secure Within Yourself

When you are not secure within yourself you may end up making wrong judgements and may settle for people who are not particularly good for you. Knowing your worth will help you to see good quality people that you should have around you.

Maybe you’re insecure and constantly looking for people to accept you. Let me tell you, God has already accepted you. Not only that, He wants to bless you with good friendships.

Do not believe the lie of the enemy. You are good enough. There is no need to settle for friendships that are outside of Gods will.

“Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.””

~ 1 Corinthians 15:33 ~

4. Knowing Gods Word

Gods word is a living testimony and stands true in this present day. There is a lot of guidance in the Bible about friendship, good and bad. If you are unsure about the kind of friendships that you need seek God first. Also get advice from Spiritual Leaders and women who are strongly rooted in Christ.

“Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”

~ Proverbs 11:14 ~

In my next blog I will be speaking about friendships that sharpen you. Please meditate on the below scripture.

“Ointment and perfume delight the heart, And the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel.”

~ Proverbs 27:9 ~

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Stay Blessed and Encouraged

Love Nkay xoxo