Recently God has put it on my heart to speak about friendship. We all need some sort of companionship. People are the greatest gift God has given us besides Himself. But do we truly know what it means to have friends or to even be a good friend ourselves?
The Oxford Dictionary describes a friend to be “A person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations.”
Human beings were made for relationships and this is demonstrated throughout the Bible.
“Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.”
~ Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 ~
Whilst writing this Blog Post I began to reflect on my friendships as well as my role as a friend. The revelation was real. Honestly speaking I realised that when my expectations are met, all is well. But when they’re unmet, I tend to feel rejected, frustrated, and deeply disappointed which leads to me feeling hurt and cutting people off. It got to a point where I didn’t want to continue living in this cycle so I knew I had to make a change. I also had to learn to forgive.
“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
~ Ephesians 4:32 ~
As I studied this topic further I realised that friendship is not selfish, however is more about putting other people’s needs before my own. It is more beautiful when you think less about what you want in friendships and more about what you can do for others.
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
~ Dale Carnegie ~
Also, it is not every friendship that is good for us. Some relationships can impact us in a negative way and could be detrimental to our Salvation. It is therefore important to have friendships that point you towards Grace and truth. I will be speaking more about negative and positive friendships in part 2 and 3 of this series.
The Bible has a lot of wisdom when it comes to friendship:
1. You Must First Be Friendly.
“A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
~ Proverbs 18:24 ~
Do you long to have good, loyal friends? Start by becoming a good, loyal friend. Do you want relationships built on trust? Start by becoming trustworthy.
Friendship is a two way process. You cannot expect to have good friendships when 1, you are unapproachable and 2, you are not a good friend yourself.
2. Surround Yourself With Wise People.
“He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.”
~ Proverbs 13:20 ~
There is so much to be gained by being around wise people.
In Proverbs 1:5 Solomon says that “A wise man will hear and increase learning, And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel.”
3. A Friend Loves At All Times.
“A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.”
~ Proverbs 17:17 ~
There is nothing wrong having fun and sharing the same interests as your friends, however the true value of friendship comes when you are there for each other through the darkest of times.
4. Friends Sharpen Each Other.
“As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”
~ Proverbs 27:17 ~
Your friendships should sharpen you and help you to be a better version of yourself. As iron sharpens Iron your friendships should refine you, correct you and ultimately draw you closer to God.
When it comes to friendships firstly we need to remember that the foundation of great relationships are those with Jesus in it.
What does friendship mean to you? Are your friendships drawing you closer to God? Feel free to leave a comment below. Also don’t forget to subscribe.
Stay Blessed and Encouraged
Love Nkay XxX
So true this is a timely and reflective post about friendship thanks Nkay xxx
Amazing post!
Really good post
This is really good! I like the reference from Dale Carnegie. Definitely got me thinking.
I find myself explaining friendship to my girls a lot in a Facebook world. These are great points to be reminded of.
There are a lot of people who measure friendship by what they can get from others. Thank you for focusing on true friendship! God bless you!
Very good post and well explained.
I love your closing, a foundation to a great friendship is those in Christ, because he is the greatest example we can look to for wisdom in this area.
The hardest and greatest part of friendship is the excellent quote by Dale Carnegie. It reminds me of another quote, seek to understand rather than be understood. I am a firm believer that it is always better to give in and towards every relationship that we are in.
Looking forward to future posts in this series. Xx
Proverbs 17:17 is a favorite verse of mine and I think of it often with my own friendships. It is so true that we need each other and that we help each other to grow in Christ. Bless you!
I am so excited because my best friend for life is coming on Friday to spend the week with me. We have been friends since she was 4 and I was 3. We went through school together and college. We had babies together and even had hysterectomies together! We have had valleys and we have had mountain top experiences, but nothing more sweeter than when I led her to Jesus. Sisters for eternity!
Taking a genuine interest in others has completely transformes my relationships. I love that advice. I used to walk into a room and would feel like a loner when nobody approached me. Now I try to step out and approach others. It makes a difference!